SHOJIB

Shajib

 

“Pyar se hum kota main isko tunu bulate the.” (For the ignorant lot, tunuram or tunu was the loo cleaner in vidyapith. Now, how did Shajib manage to get that tag to himself is another story. Some other day.)

And as Souvik (I am no more using Mr. S as it is getting very confusing for everyone else) put it, tunu had to go to US as he had cleaned up all the toilets in India. Ha ha ha .

Shajib has a long list of achievements, embarrassing moments, incidents that we talk and have been talking about whenever we Vidyapithians (this new word is available in Oxford) manage to get together. I have been near him for like 7 years and I guess I have covered most of it.

Let me put it chronologically. Shajib was the quintessential talked about guy in our batch. Most of it had to do with his height and his exploits on the football ground. I too wanted to dribble, run, shoot and curl like him. Was a terrific sportsman and athlete. We all admired him. He was the foreigner (girls don’t get excited, he is from Bangladesh, which is even worse than Tripura) who shone bright in RKMV Deoghar, Jharkhand, India.

But his off field antics were more famous, funny and remembered. Arguably the funniest one was when the super “ladu” i.e. lame Jhulan Da asked him to get out of the class in standard 9^th. I quote him “shajib class se bahar nikal jao, tum gas chodhe ho”, whose unadulterated English translation is “Shajib please leave the class as you have farted in the class”. Had this happened to me, I would have spit on my table and drowned myself in it. Shajib managed to live another day.

His Hindi was special as well. But it must have been hard for him. Since he had joined a year before me, I came to know that when he joined Vidyapith, he didn’t know any Hindi. He used to talk in a broken, gender-malfunctioned-manageable Hindi initially. But sometimes it was drop-on-floor-laugh-endlessly funny. “Pollobh, tumhara gardon tud denge” (Pallav I will break your neck) in Yoga dham is one of the most famous dialogs ever spoken. And in the cricket field when this giant was in prabhat’s team, and prabhat wasn’t bowling well, the “arre probhat tapka khilao na re” ( fucking prabhat, pitch the ball) had us in splits.

His endless talks with Atul and Ankit over serious issues like  human relations which always only related to each others mothers was sometimes the highlight of the otherwise very boring day. Shajib would at times pretend to be Ankit’s mom and then do all kinds or promiscuous acts. I haven’t laughed that hard since.

He is a good actor and dancer and singer as well. We all expect him to be in the American Broadway in about six months time. I bet “beta hum ajeeb nahi, hum Shajib hai” would be a worldwide hit.

Shajib I am sure that you would read this sometime or the else. And I am not stupid to comment on the girls you have dated. That’s personal for me and you know that I have always stood by the Bro-Code.

Shit I almost missed the funniest one. When the 14 of us were in Kota, we would occasionally get a television set and cd player and all kinds of cds. There would be the new Hindi flicks, sometimes an English one and most importantly, the pornos. After watching the first Hindi movie, which would be generally fast forwarded and paused when Shubh used to laugh, we would demand the hottest porno to be played. Once with all the good seats taken, Shajib had to take a seat close to the television. He was not more than 3-4 feet away from the TV set. We all knew that this was the time Shajib did not even bat his eyelid. He loved pornos(as we all secretly do). The electricity went off and spontaneously Shajib folded his arms praying “Bhogban joldi se light le aao”(God please quickly get the electricity back). Most of the people did not notice this. I somehow could not forget it as the reaction of praying to God to get the electricity back to watch more pornography was extremely funny to me. Awesome.

Talking about Shubh, I hope you have gone through the Samurai Keb post in which the love triangle has been mentioned. Shajib the lover is the Mr. S in that section.

Jokes apart, Shojib is a guy with a very big heart and a bubble of warmth. He will always be a true friend and good lookingJ. Bhogban will bless you man.